Matthew 22:37-40

Relationship: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected; a state of being connected.

When our human heart is connected to the divine heart of God, we can have healthier human relationships.

When our relationship with God is in order, we are empowered to live out healthy biblical principles.

Patterns Found in Healthy Relationships

Reciprocity – the balance of giving and receiving.

The relationship should be mutually beneficial to both parties.

Caring – we want to meet one another’s most important needs.

Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages:

1. Acts of Service
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Physical Touch
4. Quality Time
5. Gifts

Respect – giving high regard for the feelings, wishes, and rights of others. 

Dr. John Gottman’s Four Horsemen that can destroy relationships:

• Criticism – verbally attacking someone’s personality or character
• Contempt – intentionally insulting or verbally abusing someone, name-calling
• Defensiveness – presenting oneself as the victim, shifting blame to someone or something else
• Stonewalling – completely withdrawing from the conversation or conflict with the intention of showing disapproval, distance, and separation from another

Antidotes for the Four Horsemen:

• For criticism – Gentle start-up
• For contempt – Appreciation
• For defensiveness – Take responsibility
• For stonewalling – Self-soothing

Trust – a firm belief in the character, strength, or truth of another person. 

To earn trust, we must say what we mean and mean what we say.

To build trust, we need to improve on our mistakes.

Reflect: How are you doing with reciprocity, caring, respect, and trust?

Biblical Wisdom for Us to Apply These Principles

• Accountability –Proverbs 27:17
• Communication –Ephesians 4:14-15; James 3:9,10
• Humility –Philippians 2:1-4
• Connection –Romans 12:4-5

How to Treat Your Neighbor; Love Them as Yourself

• Comfort one another –2 Corinthians 1:4
• Be patient, humble, and gentle –Ephesians 4:2
• Show compassion –1 Peter 3:8
• Offer forgiveness –Colossians 3:13
• Carry one another’s burdens –Galatians 6:2
• Resolve conflict –Matthew 18:15-17
• Live at peace with everyone –Romans12:18

What is your motivation?  God wants it to be love. 1 John 4:7-12